


I Think I've Thought Myself To Death

by Jennsepticeye



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Camp Half-Blood (Percy Jackson), Dorks in Love, First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:40:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28105650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jennsepticeye/pseuds/Jennsepticeye
Summary: Will has to contort his entire body to get just a glimpse, neck straining. There, right between his shoulder blades, is a tattoo. He has a tattoo, in black ink, of a skull wearing a crown, with a wicked looking sword poking through the center. Somehow, though there’s no flesh on it, the skull seems to wear a fond expression. Just looking at it makes Will feel calm, even though he should be scared of randomly acquiring a tattoo at eleven.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 10
Kudos: 177





	I Think I've Thought Myself To Death

The thing about taking a dip in the Lethe is that Nico doesn’t  _ know  _ he lost his memories, he never registers that anything is missing. If someone asks where he’s from, he simply says he doesn’t know. It’s not normal, but he doesn’t bother thinking about it, not when there are more important things. He’s got a good thing going at Westover. He’s with his sister, and he has friends who will play Mythomagic with him. The only thing he wishes he had memories of, is the tattoo.

It’s so familiar that for a while he doesn’t think about it. On the left side of his chest is a sun. It’s ornate and bordered by plants he later finds out are called Marshmallows. The ink is unlike anything he’s ever seen, almost metallic and shifting with the light. The whole thing is no bigger than the palm of his hand. He doesn’t remember how he got it, or what it means. Bianca doesn’t have one, he knows that much. He also knows it’s not normal for a ten year old to have a tattoo.

The lack of concrete answers upsets him more than any of his memory loss. It’s the one thing about himself that doesn’t feel foreign and strange.

He asks Bianca about it once, and she looks at him like he’s grown a second head.

“What sun, Nico?” she asks. “It just looks like an ink splotch to me. Are you feeling alright? Should I take you to the nurse?”

He doesn’t ask her about it again.

~*~

When Will is eleven years old, the mark appears between his shoulder blades, so of course he doesn’t see it. It’s pretty hard to see his own back after all.

He wouldn’t have noticed it for way longer if it weren’t for a little kid at the pool that summer pointing at him and loudly asking his mother. “Mom? What happened to that boy’s back?”

She shushes him and scolds him for pointing. The lifeguard scolds Will for running as he bolts to the locker room, mind racing. What could possibly be wrong with his back? Did he get sunburn really badly again?

Will has to contort his entire body to get just a glimpse, neck straining. There, right between his shoulder blades, is a tattoo. He has a tattoo, in black ink, of a skull wearing a crown, with a wicked looking sword poking through the center. Somehow, though there’s no flesh on it, the skull seems to wear a fond expression. Just looking at it makes Will feel calm, even though he should be scared of randomly acquiring a tattoo at eleven.

Will abandons his friends at the pool and races the three blocks home to his mom. Moms always know everything when you’re eleven and your dad isn’t around.

His mom is quiet for a long moment after Will shows her, an strange look on her face.

“What is it?” He asks.

She sighs. “I don’t quite know, sunshine. Once you’re older someone will give you a better answer. I promise.”

Will’s mom had never said  _ ‘I don’t know’  _ before.

He frowns and puts his shirt back on. He doesn’t stop thinking about the tattoo for weeks.

~*~

Nico thinks camp Half-Blood is the coolest place imaginable. They have sword fighting classes, and all the figures from his favorite game are real people. Apparently one of his parents is a deity, which is objectively awesome. Nico does try to make friends, but his mood is dampened by the idea of his sister leaving him to join the Hunters of Artemis.

Travis Stoll has a blotch of black on his forearm, like someone dripped ink on him and he forgot to clean it off. Never one for manners, Nico points and asks “What’s that?”

Travis blinks. “What? My soulmark?”

“What’s a soulmark?”

“You don’t know? Basically every demigod has one.” Connor says

“I didn’t know I was a demigod till today.” Nico shrugs, as Travis elbows his brother.

“Basically, only you, your soulmate, and the gods can see the mark. All anyone else sees is a shapeless blob. If— sorry, when you and your soulmate fall in love, then other people can see your mark.”

“Bianca doesn’t have a mark.” He says.

“Most Hunters don’t. Comes with the whole swearing off men thing.” Travis says.

For once Nico’s endless stream of words has dried up. All he can think to say is “Cool.”

It feels wrong to be angry at Bianca for something that was destined to happen. He goes to bed that night in a daze, tracing his mark through his shirt.

Nico runs away from Camp Half-Blood before he has a chance to meet his soulmate. 

~*~

Will is thirteen when the monsters become too much and his mom finally explains everything. She tells him why the monsters are coming after him and what his father is. That summer she takes him to Camp Half-Blood.  _ ‘Somewhere you’ll be safe’  _ she promises. Apollo claims him three days later.

After the initial confusion and settling in, Will comes to really like camp. He has friends, and siblings, which is a new experience. He’s terrible at archery, and poetry, unlike his siblings, but every moment he gets to spend helping in the infirmary is awesome.

Two months into his first summer at camp, he learns what the mark on his back means. 

He’s seated at the Apollo table for dinner when some sibling, whose name he has regrettably forgotten, raises her voice from the other end.

“Hey Solace, you gotta mark?” She asks.

“A what?”

“A soulmark, bro. Fancy tattoo that no one else can see.” Another camper says.

“Uh, yeah? Why?” He asks.

“Wait, you’ve been here for like two months and no one’s told you yet?”

Will shakes his head.

“It’s your soulmark, Will.” His counselor says. “It’s a representation of your one true love. Only you, your soulmate, and the gods can see it. That is, until you and said soulmate fall in love.”

“Almost every demi-god has one.” Kayla says.

“Not having one is basically a death sentence.” Says another sibling, who is promptly elbowed in the stomach.

“So spill, Solace. What’s your soulmark of?”

“Uh…” It feels weirdly taboo to talk about the tattoo so freely. “It’s a skull with a crown and a sword.”

“Badass, Solace!” Someone jeers.

“Awe!” coos another. “Will is gonna have some sulky emo soulmate. That’s so cute!”

Will tunes out the conversation after that, lost in thoughts about the mark on his back, and the one person who will be able to see it.

~*~

As Nico gets older, through the Titan War, and the Giant War, he never really stops thinking about his soulmark, and the person who will be able to see it. He watches the shapeless grey mess on Percy’s calf turn into an ornate owl made of ancient Greek architecture. For Annabeth. It’s about the same time Nico realizes his soulmate won’t be a girl.

When the wars are finally over and Nico decides to stay at Camp Half-Blood, he spends a long time in the Hades cabin bathroom staring at the tattoo. He traces the leaves of the marshmallow plants and the intricate flames of the sun until Jason bangs on the cabin door.

The assigned table rules have gone out the window since the war. Now, all of the Prophetic seven at Camp and a few extra sit at the Zeus table most days.

“Topic of the day.” Piper says. “Soulmates.”

The topic of the day system had been Annabeth’s idea. When every person at camp has ADHD it’s nice to know that you won’t get spoken over every time, and it makes the conversation easier to follow. Like usual, Piper’s topic of choice revolves around romance.

“The only good thing the gods ever did. Next question.” Percy says, as thunder rumbles above. The idiot is going to get himself smited one of these days.

“Seconded.” Jason says.

Nico stays quiet. He hasn’t talked about his mark since Travis explained them to him. It’s something he likes to keep close to his chest. No pun intended.

“—How about you, Nico? Any idea who the lucky one is?” Piper asks.

Apparently he had spaced out for a bit of the conversation.

“Yeah, what is your mark?” Jason asks.

Nico shoots him a panicked look, desperate not to answer. He and Jason had grown closer since the whole ordeal with Eros/Cupid, except now Jason is really nosy about Nico’s love life.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy.” He says smartly.

Percy doubles over in laughter, which is enough distraction to avoid answering the question. Sure, he has a guess or two about who his soulmate could be, but there’s also a very real possibility that he’s already met him. His soulmate could be someone before his dip in the Lethe. Someone he’s forgotten. Someone dead.

~*~

He finds out who his soulmate is exactly a week later.

After everything, Nico finds himself close friends with one Will Solace. They just kind of  _ click,  _ and Will fits seamlessly within the group.

It happens like this. Percy is incredibly competitive and somehow manages to drag everyone into the ensuing shenanigans. Today’s mischief starts with, of all things, a kayaking competition. 

“Alright boys.” Annabeth says, with a roll of her eyes. “Rules of the race. First one to the other side of the lake wins. No using godly powers. No maiming. And if the Naiads decide they don’t like you, then it sucks to suck.”

Jason, Will, and Percy nod at her.

“Ready, set… Go!”

Kayak races start slow, Nico realizes. He’s already shadow-traveled Annabeth and Piper to the other side before the boys have made it a hundred feet. For a while it looks like Percy’s in for an easy win, a whole boat length ahead of the others. Then, about half-way across, he falls back into pace with Jason. It stays that way for the middle third of the lake and Will keeps pace. Then, just as Percy takes the lead again, he doesn’t. Out of nowhere Will goes for a sprint, paddle spraying up water behind him. His blonde hair is the brightest thing on the lake.

To Percy and Jason’s credit, it’s a close finish, but Will comes in first, oar above his head and smiling brightly.

“How in the gods’ names does that even happen?” Jason cries in outrage.

Percy grins mischievously before both kayaks spontaneously tip, dumping two startled demigods into the lake.

“Oh you’re gonna get it now, Jackson!” Jason sputters once he surfaces, swimming towards an amused son of Poseidon.

Will, however, does not rise to the bait, choosing instead to crawl out onto the shore. He’s got the look of a soaked cat as he wrings water from the bottom of his shorts. He looks up and catches Nico’s eyes.

“I don’t know what I expected, challenging Percy.” He laughs.’

“Certainly not your smartest moment.” Nico replies.

Will wrinkles his nose as he plucks at his soaked Camp shirt. In one movement he pulls it over his head.

Nico tries not to stare, he really does, but he’s only human and Will is not hard on the eyes. Luckily, Will doesn’t seem to notice. He turns to strike up a conversation with Annabeth and that’s when Nico see’s it. Will’s soulmark. It’s not just some blob of shapeless ink either. It’s a skull, wearing a crown, impaled on a black sword.

Nico’s not stupid. He had guessed that his soulmate was probably a son of Apollo, and he can recognize his own sword when he sees it. Will is his soulmate, no doubt about it. So Nico does the only thing he can think of. He panics, and in his panic, he steps into the shade of the trees and vanishes.

He steps out of the shadows in a dimly lit cabin thirteen. His heart is racing and all he can do is numbly kick off his shoes and sit on his bed. Without thinking his right hand rises to his chest, resting against the mark beneath his shirt. Somehow, it calms him while also being the source of his anxiety.

There’s no way Will is that dense, no way that he doesn’t at least think that Nico  _ could  _ be his soulmate.

_ He doesn’t want you.  _ Nico’s brain supplies, unhelpfully.

Nico groans and falls back onto his bed, Of course it’s not enough that the gods have fucked over every other aspect of his whole life, now they’re screwing up his love life too. For years he’s been so attached to the idea of meeting his soulmate, someone who would love him no matter what. Now it turns out his soulmate doesn’t even care.

Nico sighs and turns his back to the door. He doesn’t want to think about will or this stupid soulmate bullshit. He wants to sleep so he can pretend nothing is wrong.

~*~

Will’s pretty pissed at himself for not realizing sooner. It’s not until they’re walking back to the cabins from the lake that he notices what, or rather, who is missing.

“Guys? Where’s Nico?” He asks.

Jason shrugs. “He probably just went back to the cabins for a nap before dinner.”

Will frowns. It’s not unusual for Nico to nap after shadow-traveling, but he wouldn’t just leave without telling anyone. Would he?

As the rest of the group files back to their Cabins, Will bypasses his own and heads farther up the hill to Cabin thirteen. He just knows something is wrong. Nico always disappears when he’s upset. He just doesn’t understand what would upset the son of Hades this time/

~*~

Nico has just barely settled into a half-slumber when there’s a rather unceremonious banging on the cabin door. He tries to ignore it, even pulls a pillow over his face, until whoever it is goes away. It doesn’t work. When Nico doesn’t answer the third round of knocking, the door opens.

“Nico?”

He scowls into the pillow. Of all the people at camp, it has to be the one person he really doesn’t want to see. Nico pulls the pillow off his face.

“What do you want, Solace?”

“You ran off without saying anything. I was worried.” Will’s hair is disheveled. Even though Percy must have dried him off, he still hasn’t put his shirt back on.  _ Ugh. _

“I’m fine. You can go now.” Nico snaps.

Will blinks in surprise, then frowns. “Well you don’t sound fine. What’s wrong?”

Nico silently curses the gods and their meddling. They can never leave well enough alone. He feels on edge. He wants to stand up and pace, he wants to run off, he wants to be anywhere but here.

“You just can’t let sleeping dogs lie, can you?” Nico huffs, pushing off the bed. People are talking outside so he slams the window shut, the loud noise makes his ears hurt.

“What? Did  _ I  _ do something to make you upset? If I did, I’m sorry, but I’m a little lost here.”

Nico stifles a frustrated noise. “Gods, Solace. It would have been fine if you didn’t know, or if you just told me you weren’t interested. Instead, you stuck me in this stupid Limbo where nothing makes any sense.”

He hates the way his eyes sting and he can’t seem to find the right words. The anger feels hot in his chest and he hates it. He doesn’t even realize he’s started pacing until Will grabs his shoulders.

“Nico, just for a moment, pretend that I am the dumbest guy in the world. Just spell it out for me.” Will says earnestly. “What is this about?”

Nico scoffs. “It’s about that soulmark on your back, Will. Tell me you’re so dumb you don’t recognize that sword, or— or tell me anything, any excuse. Cause right now all I can think is that you don’t want me, and you wouldn’t be the first.”

Will looks like he’s been slapped, and if Nico didn’t feel so vulnerable, he might laugh. “Oh gods, I am so fucking dumb. Of course I knew it was you. I’ve known since the battle for Olympus. Then you ran off, and no one heard from you. When you came back I didn’t want to pressure you into staying just because the gods put your sword on my back. Then you did stay and I just put it off until it was too late. Of course I want you, Nico. I just didn’t know how to say it.”

The fire in Nico’s chest goes out in an instant. “What?”

“Oh gods above, I really messed this up, didn’t I? I’m sorry. Nico di Angelo, I am so glad you’re my soulmate.” Will says, hands falling from Nico’s shoulders to hold his hands.

“You’re a menace, Will Solace.” Nico chokes.

“I know, but I’m a menace who would really like to kiss you. If that’s okay.”

~*~

Will knows what he imagined kissing Nico to be like, but reality exceeds all of his expectations. Nico kisses with his whole being, like he’s starving for it. Will has absolutely no complaints and he certainly doesn’t want to stop. Ever. He’s so happy he can’t help but grin, then Nico’s smiling too and they’re no longer kissing, but that’s fine.

“ Can I see it?” Will asks, so quiet that for a second he’s not sure Nico heard him.

Nico rolls his eyes, but lets go of Will’s hands to grab the collar of his shirt, pulling it over his head and making a bigger mess of his already unruly black hair. Will can  _ see  _ it. He knew he’d be able too, but it’s a relief anyway.

Nico’s skin is cool under Will’s hand, and the gold ink shines beneath the light from the Greek fire torches. It’s beautiful, and Nico is smiling at him, which is also beautiful. Will may have been an idiot, but he can’t say he’s unhappy with how things turned out.

“What?” Nico asks, when Will won’t stop smiling at him.

“Just thinking about how lucky I am.”

Nico’s face flushes bright red, and  _ holy Hera  _ is Will lucky to have such a beautiful soulmate. “Gods above, shut the fuck up, Solace.”

“Oh, so we’re back to ‘Solace’ now?” He teases. “I was hoping I’d graduated to ‘significant other’”

“Yeah right, more like ‘significant annoyance.’” He says, right before kissing Will again.

Yeah, things are turning out pretty great.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave feedback and kudos if you'd like. I typed this up instead of studying for my final and sleeping.


End file.
